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I saw the post, but I’m not really sure what it’s about.
You might say, “The moment you think someone is a friend…” or “I’m at a loss for words right now…” or “I can’t believe you’re doing this…” (which tends to feature an ellipsis at the end of words).
Your brain starts racing. What is happening to this person? OK? Wait… are they talking about me? Send us a message now or leave a comment. Something that shows you are thinking about them and care about them.
If this has happened to you, congratulations. You have a “vague reservation”.
“Ambiguous booking” refers to intentionally writing something cryptic on social media in order to generate buzz and get reactions from people trying to understand the meaning of the post. Experts say that ambiguous bookings almost always end up being pitiful pleas for attention on the part of the poster.
“These kinds of posts from friends and family are vague, so it makes everyone curious, emotional, and worrying. And then all of a sudden, you start getting flooded with comments like, ‘Are you okay?'” ‘What’s wrong?’ “Send some love!” says Monica Berg, author of “Rethinking Love: 3 Steps to Being Alone, Being Alone, and Becoming Alone” and host of the podcast “Spiritually Hungry.” “Ambiguous bookings reveal a desire for external approval, especially when relationships or ex-lovers are involved.”
Experts added that the prevalence of vague bookings also speaks to a broader decline in communication skills and the length of time it takes to get noticed. And if you find yourself on the other end of an ambiguous booking, wondering if someone’s cryptic post might be related to you, it can also take a toll on your mental health.
“Conflict is an inevitable part of the human experience,” says Melvin Williams, associate professor of communication and media studies at Pace University. “However, society still struggles to develop appropriate conflict resolution techniques and coping mechanisms. As a result, ambiguous booking has become a passive-aggressive pacifier for explicitly addressing disagreements and easing the discomfort of communicating one’s feelings.”
Why do people keep “vague records”?
Most social media users have probably encountered an “ambiguous booking” at some point. Maybe we’ve done it ourselves.
Berg says the behavior expresses a deeper desire to be seen. “Vargbooking” may have arrived in the age of social media. But seeking validation is as old as civilization itself.
“When we post cryptic or emotional content in hopes that others will read between the lines, what we’re really expressing is a desire to be seen, heard, and understood,” Berg says. “But seeking that recognition through ambiguity doesn’t give us what we really want: connection.”
And if you do your “vague booking” wisely, it will be hard not to see it for what it is when it shows up on your social media pages.
“Vague booking can feel manipulative, and many people find it downright frustrating,” Berg added. “But before you delete a post, recognize that at its core there is a sincere desire for connection. You don’t have to comment on the post, but you may be able to reach out to the person by texting or DMing them.”
Are you a “vague booker”? Try this instead
And if you find yourself guilty of making vague reservations, it might be time to stop and reflect. What motivates us to post this way on social media? What’s really behind this behavior? What’s a better way to deal with it?
“Experience your emotions fully and seek professional help if needed,” says Williams. “Behind this ambiguous practice lie human beings with unexpressed emotions seeking cathartic relief, conflict resolution, and emotional support online.”
And whenever possible, try to keep your communication style direct, respectful, and honest. This is true both face-to-face and online.
“Communication doesn’t have to be secret,” Williams says. “Clarity comes through direct and effective communication, not through subconscious online expressions.”
