Wait…is Channing Tatum’s post about what I think it is?
If you were wondering after the “Roofman” star, 46, reportedly shared a cryptic message on his Instagram Stories on Monday, congratulations, you’re now “obscure.”
Ambiguous booking involves writing something intentionally cryptic on social media in order to generate buzz and get reactions from people trying to understand the meaning of the post. Experts say vague bookings almost always end up as a plea for attention on the part of the poster.
Following reports and speculation about his ex-fiancée Zoe Kravitz’s engagement to Harry Styles, the actor shared a poem on his Instagram Stories.
Does Tatum’s post have anything to do with Kravitz and Styles? who knows. And in the age of “ambiguous booking,” that ambiguity may very well be the point.
“These kinds of posts from friends and family are vague, so it makes everyone curious, emotional, and worrying. And then all of a sudden, you start getting flooded with comments like, ‘Are you okay?'” ‘What’s wrong?’ ‘Send some love!”’ Monica Berg, author of Rethinking Love: 3 Steps to Being Alone, Being Alone, and Host of the podcast Spiritual Hungry, previously told USA TODAY.
“Ambiguous bookings reveal a desire for external validation, especially when relationships or exes are involved,” she added.
Why do people write “vague ledgers”?
Most social media users have probably encountered an “ambiguous booking” at some point. Maybe we’ve done it ourselves.
Berg added that this behavior expresses a deeper desire to be seen. “Vargbooking” may have arrived in the age of social media. But seeking validation is as old as civilization itself.
“When we post something cryptic and emotional in hopes that others will read between the lines, what we’re really expressing is a desire to be seen, heard, and understood,” Berg previously told USA TODAY. “But seeking that recognition through ambiguity doesn’t give us what we really want: connection.”
And if you do your “vague booking” wisely, it will be hard not to see it for what it is when it shows up on your social media pages.
“Vague booking can feel manipulative and many people find it downright frustrating,” Berg added. “But before you delete a post, recognize that at its core there is a sincere desire for connection. You don’t have to comment on the post, but you may be able to reach out to the person by texting or DMing them.”
Are you a “vague booker”? Try this instead
The prevalence of vague bookings also speaks to a broader breakdown in communication skills. So if you find yourself guilty of making vague reservations, it might be time to stop and reflect. What motivates us to post this way on social media? What’s really behind this behavior? What’s a better way to deal with it?
“Conflict is an inevitable part of the human experience,” Melvin Williams, associate professor of communication and media studies at Pace University, previously told USA TODAY. “However, society still struggles to develop appropriate conflict resolution techniques and coping mechanisms. As a result, ambiguous booking has become a passive-aggressive pacifier for explicitly addressing disagreements and easing the discomfort of communicating one’s feelings.”
And whenever possible, try to keep your communication style direct, respectful, and honest. This is true both face-to-face and online.
“Experience your emotions fully and seek professional help if needed,” Williams added. “Behind this ambiguous practice lie human beings with unexpressed emotions seeking cathartic relief, conflict resolution, and emotional support online.”
