Actors, caregivers and daughters: What this star has to say
The “Community” star has made it her life’s purpose to share the joys, struggles, and tips of caring for a loved one.
Deanna Adkins, 28, filed for bankruptcy in February.
Between taking in her mother-in-law about three years ago and having her first child shortly thereafter, she said her credit card debt became unmanageable. Her 66-year-old mother-in-law was scammed and became homeless before she moved in with Adkins and her husband in Florida, and she said Adkins bought her clothes, furniture and things for her new baby. After paying her rent and car loan each month, Adkins says she has no money left.
“I couldn’t keep up with[my credit card payments]so I kept everything in arrears until I had to deal with it,” she said.
Sandwich generation caregivers like Adkins pay tens of thousands of dollars in care costs each year. While some families spend money directly on caregiving, others, like Adkins, lose wages by taking time off from work to care for a loved one. Some families are reducing their working hours while providing care, compounding their losses.
Bottom line: Many families in the sandwich generation are in the red.
A new study from life insurance agency Choice Mutual found that the average annual cost of both childcare and elder care is just under $104,000, leaving the average family with $64,000 in debt each year. Care.com conducted an independent analysis of the average weekly cost of child care and senior care. They found that the average weekly child care cost for two children was $585 and the average geriatric cost for one adult was $795, for a total of $1,380 per week.
“Parents are being stretched far beyond their limits by care demands,” Brad Wilson, CEO of Care.com, said in the release of the Care Market’s latest Cost of Care Report. “If this situation continues, there is a risk that more parents will cut back or leave their careers due to the pressures of caregiving. This will only deepen the financial burden and emotional stress, trapping parents in a system that continues to fail.”
Adkins quit her job during her pregnancy because the remote work option for her sales job ended. Given her mother-in-law’s dementia care needs and rising child support costs, she says it doesn’t make sense to go back to work right away. Even though her husband works full-time and puts in a lot of overtime, Adkins said the family still cuts back on extra spending, such as eating out, vacations and even saving money.
“It’s hard to have any hope of ever getting out of this trap,” Adkins said.
Nursing care costs and debts have a “ripple effect.”
According to a study by the Pew Research Center, nearly one in four American adults belong to the sandwich generation. Several recent reports have shown that this group, which is primarily made up of women, suffers from mental, health, and economic challenges.
Choice Mutual’s research found that the sandwich generation is under the most financial pressure in Hawaii, Vermont, Oklahoma, Montana and Maine. In Vermont, the cost of caring for children and seniors ($138,752 per year) exceeds the median household income ($137,525).
A 2025 survey of nearly 2,000 adults by mortgage lender Finance of America found that 69% of Sandwich caregivers felt financially exhausted and 76% were struggling with the fears and emotions that come with caring for a parent. Biolife, a plasma services company, published a similar study around the same time, finding that most Sandwich Generation caregivers balance full-time jobs with caregiving responsibilities averaging 24 hours a week. Approximately 28% of these caregivers spend more than $1,000 per month on caregiving, and nearly half have reduced their retirement benefits due to the financial burden of caregiving.
“People are having children later in life, leaving them to care for older parents and younger children,” says Lakelyn Eichenberger, a gerontologist and caregiving advocate at the Home Institute, a senior home care network. The economic impact “has a knock-on effect, where they may be unable to save for their own retirement, or be deprived of income to go on family vacations or save for their children’s school fees.”
Eichenberger said juggling childcare and caring for the elderly can be so overwhelming that many members of the Sandwich generation are turning down promotions or returning to part-time work.
Samantha Davenport, 45, just started working part-time as an ER nurse after taking a year off to care for her 74-year-old mother, who has stage 4 COPD, and her children, including a 9-year-old son with disabilities. Ms. Davenport is also paid $23 an hour through North Carolina’s Medicaid program for home and community-based care for 20 hours a month of care work for her son. Even though her husband works full time, she said it’s still a difficult time for the family.
“Electricity bills are higher, food costs are higher, so everything in general is just (more expensive),” she said. “And just not having two incomes in the household is stressful.”
Adkins now has a toddler and is looking to return to work. She expects her mother-in-law’s needs to increase even more by the time her son starts school. During that time, she considered adult day care options for her stepmother, but the program she found only supported the family for five hours a day and would cost $100 per day with insurance coverage.
“Still, considering my schedule and work, I couldn’t find anything that would allow me to work after dropping her off,” she said.
It’s important to openly discuss care early on
Eichenberger said many adult children, including Adkins and Davenport, want to promise their parents that they will “never end up in a foster care facility.” But for many families, that’s not realistic.
“It actually ends up doing more harm than good because you don’t know what’s going to happen in the future,” she said.
Eichenberger said there are many different care facilities and home care options for elderly parents. It’s important to have open and honest conversations early on so sandwich generation caregivers can plan accordingly and avoid financial stress along the way. Home Instead, we have an online guide to help families have those conversations.
“I think too many families don’t make any decisions about their care until they’re in a crisis,” Eichenberger said. “And often in these moments of crisis, your options are more limited. So you may end up spending more money because you haven’t had time to consider all your options and weigh the economic impact. You just have to address the immediate need.”
Madeline Mitchell’s role covering women and the care economy for USA TODAY is supported by a partnership with Pivotal and Journalism Funding Partners. Funders do not provide editorial input.
Contact Madeline at: memitchell@usatoday.com and @maddiemitch_ With X.
