“Monkey-Barring” is the latest dating trend that will wreak havoc on relationships
A certified counselor will break down the reasons why one person jumps from one relationship to the next, providing steps to heal and form healthier connections.
Fox-32 Chicago
You know the proverb: distance will grow the heart. But if someone is only gone for a few hours, is that an axiom?
The virus Tiktok, which has been viewed approximately 22 million times, is suggested. In the video, after two hours of departure, a muscular man with a shining smile runs a race in his wife’s car. “This made me realize I deserve someone like this,” the comment read. Another: “I never see a big, muscular guy as a perfect lover.”
The video itself is sweet and not worrying. It’s a fun internet post.
But that’s a good entry point for some deeper questions about relationships. Do these types of emotions raise concerns ever? Is it okay to miss out on your partner so many times? Mental health experts argue that every relationship looks different. The key is to balance time together with what is useful for individual couples.
“The healthiest relationships allow for both intimacy and independence,” says Lewis Cornejo, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “You can miss your partner in a few hours and Still, enjoy your time. A balance between relationships and personality helps keep relationships stronger in the long run. ”
What does “too much unity” mean?
What constitutes time together or too apart is not easily defined. That’s a data point. “Deliverying your partner in a few hours is simply a part of the information,” says Laura Pettiford, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “A more important aspect of this is how this feeling affects your partner.”
Some people love to spend quality time with their partners and lament their absence. “It could be seen as a reflection of intense love, affection and connection that many people want to find in relationships,” says Maryne Fisher, a psychology professor at St. Mary’s University in Canada. “When they see them after they’ve been away all day, wouldn’t they want their partner to smile?”
Other relationships may require more time. “Some people prefer to distinguish between aspects of life, such as needing time alone or maintaining friendships and hobbies separately from their partner,” Fisher says. “To them, too much unity may feel like a loss of identity.”
Beware of important signs of trouble. One such warning is “if missing turns into overwhelming anxiety, guilt or constant worry about the relationship,” says Cornejo. or “If someone feels that they cannot function without a nearby partner, or they can refer to deeper patterns of attachment, self-worth, or communication, regardless of conflict or shame from apart.”
“We all have emotional blind spots.”
There is no embarrassment to get help in these situations from a trained mental health counselor. Your friends and family advice may not cut it.
“We all have emotional blind spots that can prevent us from experiencing what we want most in life,” says Alice Shepherd, a clinical psychologist and owner of Miliel Therapy Practice.
If you think your relationship may require therapeutic intervention, remember that clinical advice also differs to some extent.
“Most experts would recommend that partners seek a balance between trust and independence,” Fisher said. “I don’t think it’s as essential as mutual understanding.”
Listen to this advice from Petiford.
