Trump solves the White House Rose Garden Mystery

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Trump announced he had successfully found the perpetrator who caused the “gigantic gouache” in the new limestone at Rose Garden.

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President Donald Trump’s love for the surface (particularly marble and stone) may have only opened up a new career path for him.

Trump announced on August 30 that he successfully resolved the White House whodunit, including the recently installed “Limestone Plus” at the Rose Garden Intruto Social Post.

“Three days ago, while praising the stonework, I happened to notice a huge gouache of limestone that stretched over 25 yards. It was deep and troublesome!” he wrote. “I started screaming, ‘Who did this, and I want to know now!” – and I wasn’t saying this in a good way.

But fortunately for Trump, the White House has “the best security equipment anywhere” and has been able to identify the obvious perpetrator through video footage.

“They bring back stupid people and look at their bosses (in their sunglasses!),” Trump wrote.

The subcontractor used steel carts “a broken and badly titled, rubbing hard on soft, beautiful stones,” Trump said.

Next course of action?

“Please replace the stones, charge the contractor, and don’t let the contractor work in the White House again,” Trump said.

“Surfaces are very important to me as a builder,” he wrote.

Renovations to the Rose Garden, which included tearing the grass and replacing it with stone, continued throughout the summer. The project was complete when Trump noticed the stone “gouache.” The White House did not respond immediately when the redo was complete. Trump previously said he saw a woman’s heels clogged in the mud and came up with a new surface idea.

Trump was on a rampage of renovations and remodeling in and around the White House – from a golden overhaul of an oval office to tearing the grass in his rose garden to pave it with white stones. He also plans to add a 90,000 square feet of ballroom to the East Wing.

There is no word on whether the crimes solving Sparee were the ones that protected the president from Tuesday, when he hosted the three-hour marathon cabinet meeting, and when he finally appeared to play golf.

Swapna Venugopal Ramaswamy is a White House correspondent for USA Today. x You can follow her at @swapnavenugopal

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