She stops men on the street, goes viral, and helps Gen Z date.
Ellie Williams – @ellieforthegirls – hopes her Where Men on the Street Go series will help young people meet up in real life.
Call it callous or cost-effective, but for some Gen Z singles, a free dinner date beats ramen noodles or a freezer meal.
With rent rising, student loans looming, and job security feeling out of reach, Gen Zers are bringing their financial worries into their dating lives. Nearly one in three Gen Z singles go on a date just for the free food, according to a new study from financial technology company Intuit. The report, titled “The Cuffing Economy,” is another data point on how economic insecurity is changing young people’s dating habits, or decisions.
“If you want to go on a date because you’re interested and excited about the person, and you’ve both talked about who will pay for the date, that’s great,” says Aja Evans, a licensed mental health counselor and financial therapist. “But don’t go on dates or potentially lead people on.”
Are “gourmet calls” indifferent or cost-effective?
There are plenty of tongue-in-cheek TikTok videos of single people getting ready for a date because they can’t be bothered to prepare a meal, or bragging about how they won a free date for a meal.
In one video, British singer-songwriter Kiara King shared with her 4.2 million followers: “When you agree to a date but he’s bored and just wants to come over for a free dinner.” In a since-deleted video that has been viewed more than 1 million times, another woman shared on TikTok how she used dating apps to go on 16 consecutive dinner dates after she ran out of money for food in college.
This is a dynamic that also affects LGBTQ+ daters. Brandon Edelman, a gay content creator known as @Bran_Flakezz, wrote on TikTok, “POV: I date a guy just to have dinner.”
Evans said the tone of the video may be playful, but there’s truth behind it.
“Clients who talk about going on a date for a free meal are already financially insecure, so the experience of going out for dinner, coffee, or drinks is fun and makes them feel good, even if they don’t know if the person they’re going with will be interested,” Evans says.
Dates for dinner may be more popular, but it’s nothing new.
In 2019, researchers dubbed the phenomenon “hoodie call,” a playful twist on the well-known term “booty call.” Add in the fact that, according to Pew Research, more than half of adults under 30 report having used dating apps like Tinder, Match, Bumble, and Hinge. Amy Chang, a dating coach and author of Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Mind, previously told USA TODAY that these apps create a “shopping cart mentality” in which daters evaluate users as if they were a product. Evans said these apps help speed up access and scheduling.
Anxiety is shaping Gen Z’s dating habits
But just because someone is dating doesn’t mean they have extra money to spend, according to Evans. Gen Z (those born between 1997 and 2012) are more financially insecure than older generations, and they carry that mentality into their dating lives. In addition to the date itself, single people are also concerned about incidental expenses such as transportation costs.
“People don’t realize that someone might be really struggling financially. Especially given these times, going out is part of socializing, it’s part of culture. And even when you don’t have the funds, some people still want to go out for coffee, have a good conversation, and enjoy those aspects of life.”
More than half of Gen Z daters say they’ve cut back on dating due to financial pressures, the highest rate of any generation, according to the Cuffing Economy report. One in five people avoid dating altogether to save money.
Evans said Gen Z is more comfortable than older generations with transparency about their money, including paychecks, budgets and debt.
“Gen Z is actually the generation that can say, ‘Oh, I’m nervous about this,’ or they’re budgeting and they’re like, ‘Oh, I don’t have the money for this,'” Evans said. “It’s very helpful, but it also puts it out in the open. It can be very scary and difficult for people, especially because it’s a level of vulnerability that not everyone feels.”
How to overcome financial worries before your first date
Evans doesn’t recommend the dinner date strategy. Instead, I encourage my clients to discuss their budget before the first date, regardless of who brings it up. That means suggesting restaurants and bars at different price points, and making it clear whether you’re both comfortable splitting up or whether you expect one of you to pay.
“Someone might say, ‘Hey, let’s go here,’ but it might be beyond their budget and they’ll say, ‘Oh, there are some other options,'” Evans said. “So you don’t even have to say that, but you can offer other options that are a little more cost-effective.”
As gender roles change, so do expectations about who pays for the date. Evans says daters should try to get on the same page before the date.
“It’s a taboo topic that people are nervous about talking about, and I understand that, but I would like to avoid the awkwardness that can happen when the check comes and don’t look at each other or look at change or wallets or purses or anything like that,” Evans says.
Rachel Hale’s role covering youth mental health for USA TODAY is supported by a partnership with Pivotal Ventures and Journalism Funding Partners. Funders do not provide editorial input. Contact her at rhale@usatoday.com. @rachleighhale At X.
