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America’s adult children say they are now ready to take charge of that legacy.
Their parents may not agree.
A report from Fidelity Investments sheds new light on the generational gap when it comes to estate planning. Aging parents may not think their adult children are ready to hear about, much less intend to inherit, the assets they will eventually inherit.
The retirement industry is abuzz with talk of a wealth transfer in which an estimated $84 trillion will be passed down from older Americans to their heirs by 2045.
However, wealthy elders are in no hurry to discuss their plans with their children. Some people think that their children or grandchildren are not ready for the conversation. Others find this topic uncomfortable.
“There’s discomfort in talking about money and death,” said Cody Moracek, a certified financial planner with Northwestern Mutual’s Freedom Wealth Advisors. “I’m waiting for the right moment to tell that story, but it never comes.”
Nearly all Americans think it’s important to discuss estate planning with their families, according to Fidelity’s 2025 Family and Finance Survey released in November, which focuses on families with at least $500,000 in investable assets.
But no such conversations are taking place.
Where is my heritage? Parents of baby boomers probably won’t say that.
Two-thirds of parents said they did not tell their adult children about the impending inheritance or how much they had inherited. Half of parents don’t discuss their net worth with their children.
However, more than half of adult children say they want to know how much they will inherit.
Almost all adult children, 95%, say they are ready to manage their inheritance. A quarter of parents disagree.
Experts say that if boomer parents are reluctant to talk about money and inheritance with their adult children, they may be carrying on a tradition among their own parents.
“Their parents went through the Great Depression, so what they have in their bones is to keep it close to their chest. They don’t share what they have,” says Ryan Victorin, vice president and financial consultant at Fidelity.
Many parents worry that their adult children are bad at spending money. In the Fidelity report, two-fifths of respondents said they were not confident in their children’s ability to manage debt. A similar proportion said they were not confident that their adult children would be able to stick to a budget.
Wealthy Americans may want their children to manage their own personal finances before managing their inheritance.
“They want their children and grandchildren to forge their own path, face life’s adversities, and learn good money management,” Moracek said.
Baby boomers: I’ll get the money when I die.
Other retirement research suggests similar generational divides in attitudes about inheritance.
In Northwestern Mutual’s 2025 Planning and Progress Study, 74% of Millennials agree that leaving a legacy for the next generation is very important. Only 47% of baby boomers agreed.
A 2024 Charles Schwab survey of wealthy Americans found that many young Americans want to pass on their wealth to their heirs during their lifetime. Baby boomers would rather wait until they die.
In a Schwab survey, 53% of Millennials agreed with the statement, “I want the next generation to enjoy money in my lifetime.” Only 21% of baby boomers shared that view.
Wait to share your estate plan
Aging parents may be reluctant to talk about money and death with their adult children. But retirement plan officials say failure to have such discussions risks leaving your heirs in a difficult position after your death. They may have a hard time identifying your assets and liabilities, and may have a hard time guessing what you were planning to do with them.
“I think it’s important for parents to sit down and at least outline their estate plan,” said Zaneilia Harris, a certified financial planner in Washington, D.C. “Just to let them know.”
Sharing your estate plan with your children doesn’t mean you need to tell them the balances in every account. Instead, it can be an opportunity to explain what assets and investments you have, why you have them, and what you want your heirs to do with them. This is an opportunity to share each other’s values.
“It doesn’t have to be a one-time conversation,” Harris said. “And maybe as your parents get older, they’ll want to eat it every year.”
Victorin says talking to your kids about estate planning also gives them an opportunity to organize their plans. Before calling your heirs to the table, take time to get your finances in order, she said.
If you have a financial advisor, consider inviting them to have an intergenerational conversation about your wealth, Harris said. They can act as neutral arbitrators. You can also ensure that the session doesn’t become a negotiation about who gets what and when.
“Set up the conversation in a way that makes you comfortable,” says Harris. “It’s always good to have an independent third party.”
