As a college student, Michael McKenzie had an average social life. I studied with friends from accounting classes, played drinking games at parties, and watched Cheers with my roommates on Sunday nights as a relaxing show.
But the one thing he avoided for years was his girlfriend.
Now 27, he tried Tinder and Bumble, but his swipes rarely resulted in a date. When he musters up the confidence to approach girls at a party, they politely decline.
So when I came across a video by YouTuber Kevin Samuels, the creator’s candid words about relationships, such as “A man of high value begins with money” and “The status of men in society is declining,” felt like “a ray of hope.”
Every time he watched one of Samuels’ videos, YouTube recommended three to four more videos from similar creators. Theories that were repeated around Mr. Samuels, such as the “wall” theory that unmarried women over 35 were devalued “sellouts” and the idea that 80 percent of women were attracted to 20 percent of men, seemed to explain his misfortune.
In 2022, Samuels died of high blood pressure.
“I was in a nihilistic mindset at the time: everything was okay, life sucked, you were going to suffer, and you were going to die,” McKenzie says. “This 80/20 theory was like a confirmation bias: “The world is unfair, so you should give up.”
McKenzie considers himself one of a growing number of young people being sucked into the manosphere, a digital collection of websites, videos and social media that promote male supremacy and uphold traditional gender roles.
he found a way out. But for some young men, it’s not that simple.
Creators like Andrew Tate, a self-proclaimed “misogynist” who has been indicted on rape and human trafficking charges, and streamer Suneko, who once said, “A woman’s worth is in looks, and a man’s worth is in masculinity and respect,” provide a pipeline into radicalism and misogyny for men who seek advice on romantic rejection, physical self-esteem, and financial insecurity.
Some of these communities involve interactions with women, such as pickup artists whose purpose is to “pick up” women and seduce them into sex, but incels who believe they cannot find love or sexual intimacy self-isolate from women and are aggressive toward their sexually active peers. Other people influencing the manosphere range from fitness content creators who people follow for bodybuilding advice and people who share misogynistic comments to influencers who focus on traditional gender roles.
“I felt like I wasn’t a real man unless I was sexually successful.”
When Mackenzie started dating and having sex, she thought it would boost her self-esteem. Rather, he felt that he lacked confidence in himself.
“At the time, I didn’t really see them[women]as people. I saw them as accomplishments to check off boxes that made me feel like a masculine man, because I felt like I wasn’t a real man unless I was sexually successful,” Mackenzie says.
Jonathan France was similarly frustrated with dating until he discovered Wheat Waffles, a YouTuber who posts about LooksMax, the process of maximizing your appearance through hygiene, fitness, and style.
France, now 28, spent $500 on premium subscriptions to dating apps like Hinge and Tinder, but would often go weeks or months without a single match.
Participating in Reddit communities like r/IncelsWithoutHate, which was later banned, and IncelsCo, an X account pinned to “Modern Women Have a Dating Problem,” solidified his belief that the only way to get into a relationship was to be attractive.
“This combination warmed my spirit and made me think, ‘Okay, I’m just an unattractive guy. Women don’t like me because I’m unattractive, so I have to hate women because I’m unattractive,'” France says.
Mackenzie and France never felt drawn to violence. But the extreme fringes of the manosphere orchestrate and glorify violent attacks against women, a trend that Netflix’s recent crime drama Adolescence highlights by following the story of a 13-year-old boy who is radicalized by online misogynistic culture.
Men in the manosphere who are most isolated from women and other men, such as incels (a term used to refer to involuntarily single men), are more likely to hold extreme views and engage in violence, said Mariel Burns, a public affairs professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison whose research focuses on gender equality and backlash to the manosphere.
For example, the man behind the 2014 Isla Vista murders is a self-proclaimed incel, and before the shooting he released a manifesto and YouTube video declaring a “day of retribution” as a way to punish women for his perceived indifference.
In March, it was revealed that a British man convicted of murdering his ex-girlfriend and two of her family members had searched for a podcast by former kickboxer Andrew Tate in the 24 hours before the attack.
“If you’re consuming this content all the time and you’re isolated and women are responsible for all the bad things that are happening to you, that’s very dehumanizing, right?” Burns says. “We no longer see women as human beings, or as allies and friends. That dehumanization gives us license to treat women as less than human.”
How the manosphere sucks in young people
France said she did not intend to engage in a media diet of anti-feminist content by watching funny meme videos. But he got frustrated and angry, and as YouTube’s algorithm continued to push more videos, content he once thought was extreme started to seem more acceptable.
“I think Wheat Waffles and Andrew Tate and all those guys are taking this natural experience of not understanding women and twisting it into hating women and objectifying women,” France says.
Gary Barker, president of healthy masculinity advocacy group Equimundo: Center for Masculinity and Social Justice, said the combination of technology and the natural insecurities of teenagehood are creating a “perfect storm” in the otherwise innocuous sports and health space, leading young people to turn to extreme content.
“They go there with some sort of innocent intention, but unless someone else supports them, those innocent intentions can turn into followers who abandon critical thinking,” Barker says.
Jesse Young, 30, who regularly interacts with users seeking advice on r/incelexit, says he managed to avoid the pitfalls of the manosphere when he made female friends in college. This went against the beliefs I developed in high school, where social interactions were kept to a minimum.
He doesn’t want to think about where he would be without these friendships, and now finds it harder to avoid the online manosphere.
“Back then it was just isolated people, but now it’s like an entire industry,” Young says.
How did misogyny become mainstream?
Barnes said the manosphere began converging online around 2008 and grew with the rise of blogging websites such as Paul Elam’s “A Voice for Men” and Dariush Valizadeh’s “Return of Kings” site, which featured headlines like “When She Means No” and “The Intellectual Inferiority of Women.”
As short-form content platforms like TikTok, YouTube Shorts, and Instagram Reels began offering monetization options to creators, a manosphere grew that included streaming platforms like Twitch and chat boards like 4chan.
“The current version of the manosphere is much more mainstream than it used to be,” Burns says. “If you are a raging misogynist, you no longer have to hide who you are.”
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How to leave the manosphere behind
When France’s older brother died by suicide in the fall of 2019, he made a promise to himself to address his mental health. He began therapy and anxiety medication, spent more time volunteering at his church, and used hobbies like video games and Legos as an outlet.
“Since I left the incel community and realized that my life wasn’t so hopeless, I’ve been even more successful,” France says. “Do you think, ‘I believed this for so long, how many years of my life have I lost?'”
Barker says that while spending time offline is an important part of deradicalization, it’s not about “throwing out the baby with the bathwater” and there are meaningful connections young men can find in online support forums.
Both France and MacKenzie joined online spaces such as the Reddit forums r/ExRedPill and r/IncelExit to connect with others who had found a way out.
According to Barker, it’s important for young men to think critically about the motivations behind content creators who create filters and monetize their advice as they scroll online.
“If you’re feeling a little embarrassed about what you’re following online, it’s probably a good gut check that something isn’t working,” says Barker.
Mackenzie used weightlifting as a physical outlet, volunteered at a local food bank, and served with AmeriCorps, a service program that provides volunteer opportunities to people ages 18 to 26 across the country.
By devoting his time and energy to helping others and learning valuable skills like how to build a house, he says he has become more confident in his identity beyond his physical appearance.
“I wanted to see that there were other ways to be a great man than just checking off the boxes of being rich, wealthy, attractive, and attractive to women,” Mackenzie says.
Five years after his brother’s death, France says his change in thinking is now paying off. Those leaving the manosphere shouldn’t expect change to happen right away, he says.
“Many men just want instant results, so they’re not willing to spend as much time and effort getting their mindset right,” says France. “That doesn’t work. Mental health is always a journey and it never really ends.”
Rachel Hale’s role covering youth mental health for USA TODAY is supported by a partnership with Pivotal Ventures and Journalism Funding Partners. Funders do not provide editorial input. Contact X at rhale@usatoday.com and @rachelleighhale.
