How to respond to seeing the person who made you a ghost
Moving after receiving a ghost can be a challenge in itself, but what do you do when you encounter Ghoster? Dating expert Dr. Ramani explains.
Match that perfect paper person on dating app. You interact for a few days, butterflies flap in your stomach. A great first date comes quickly. Check in for the third date and then check the crickets. Nada. Jillch. What gives?
You’ve been ghosted. It is a too common phenomenon in the digital age, and your dates will lose interest and reduce communication. Yes, you’re crazy for you, but is that terrible for your loved one too?
The recent virus Tiktok, who has seen 1.6 million views, said, “I just know that when you ghost me, you’re not punishing me. You’re punishing my best friend. You’re talking about all the scenarios that led you and me to ghost 150,000 times, so they have to listen to it, so I’m going to talk about all the scenarios that led you and you.
Just like Tiktok, those who are stupid will encourage mental health professionals to frame your feelings as punishment to loved ones, discouraging “ghoster” from protecting you.
“It’s important to remember that Ghoster’s behavior ultimately reflects your emotional handicap and impairment in your value system,” said Cecille Ahrens, a licensed clinical social worker. “They often get themselves injured and lack the right relationships and communication tools to navigate more complex emotions.”
“Ghosts prevent the development of these important relationship skills.”
Date long enough, and you’ve probably been ghosted and/or ghosted yourself. Press the “Mute” button on your phone to block the number and ignore that notification bubble. Everything is easy. But actions have consequences.
“The ghosts in my clinical opinion are a form of emotional neglect and a form of conflict avoidance,” says Arlenth. “In extreme cases, it could be part of a larger pattern of emotional abuse on the part of Ghosters.”
Sometimes ghosts can be understood, even if they are rude. “It makes sense to have a hard time communicating if you are experiencing a depression episode or are burned out and you can’t put your thoughts together,” says Shashoua, a licensed clinical social worker. “Ideally, it’s to let people know that you’re struggling and that response will be delayed.”
In a healthy and safe relationship, honest communication in advance is still the course of best action. “Learning how to tackle difficult situations and have rewarding conversations is an emotional skill required in a healthy relationship,” adds Laura Pettiford, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “Entering ghosts will hinder the development of these important relationship skills.”
Yes, it’s okay to talk to friends and family for support.
How a ghost responds depends on your trauma. “In my experience, when a ghost has a particular history of abandonment, abuse or rejection, they tend to suffer a lot, and often tend to internalize and personalize Ghoster’s behavior,” adds Ahrens.
So it’s no wonder people reach out to their loved ones to lick their wounds. But don’t let this viral (although uncomfortable) tiktok cloud your thoughts.
However, there is no problem seeking expert help if you notice that you are ghosts over and over again, especially if you find yourself overly engrossed and significantly tormented by the ghost act.”
Please wait the next time you are waiting for that text. Take a deep breath. They will text you back or won’t. And that’s fine.
