Tips for flying with your kids: advice to make your family flying easier
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Yvette Henry was in the kitchen to fix dinner. So did all four of her.
“Yeah, we have nearly 4,000 square feet here, and you’re here. You’re here,” she said, “How are you married?!” A podcast where she hosts her husband Glenn Henry.
However, she later recalls Tiktok’s videos about “living room kids” and “bedroom kids” and realizes that she and her husband have created the dynamics of the house that the children felt emotionally safe in shared spaces.
“I don’t think I’m always grateful for what I have in this situation,” Henry said in a podcast clip that it has earned nearly 1 million views on Tiktok and has been posted elsewhere on social media. “Looking back to one day, like this gift of all this unity, saying, ‘Oh, I miss it.’ ”
“Living room kids” and “bedroom kids” are not terms established by behavioral science, but they are gaining popularity online as parenting influencers talk about family dynamics and their past upbringing.
A child in the living room refers to a child who spends much of his time at a shared space, such as the living room, kitchen, or dining room. Bedroom children refer to children who spend most of their free time on bedroom privacy. No matter what kind of person you are, if you are a parent, pay attention to your child’s needs and what kind of room they are attracting to. There’s nothing inherently wrong either.
While that may lead to more confusion, parents should be proud to know that children in the living room feel comfortable and safe when meeting with their families, said Whitney Laglin Bignor, associate clinical director at the Kid’s Mental Health Foundation, a nonprofit that promotes children’s mental health.
“Safety could play a role,” she said. If there is a lot of family conflict, the child may spend more time in his own room to avoid that stressor.
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Why some kids prefer living rooms over bedrooms
It’s not just about safety, Laglin Bignor said. There are other factors such as culture, age, and personality.
Some children are naturally more introverted than others, she said. Other children prefer quiet and lonely activities like reading. Families may designate specific playrooms for children and adults spaces for parents to relax.
Children also tend to spend more time in their rooms as they enter their pre-teen years and teenage years, says Dr. Thomas Priolo, a children’s psychiatrist at Hackensack Meridian Health.
“Teens will want to be more independent and feel more responsible for themselves. By having space in their room for them, they can control them,” he said. “As your child gets older, it becomes more important and a conscious decision.”
The time spent in their room may also depend on the time, Priolo said. During the school year, children are more socially stimulating by school and extracurricular activities, so they want to unlock more time in the room alone.
Why is it okay to become a “bedroom parent”?
It’s not necessarily a bad thing for kids to spend more time in the bedroom, but he said parents should be careful if a regular “living room” child suddenly starts quarantining in their own room. This may be a sign that something is wrong.
“The best way to see it as a home rather than viewing it as a ‘living room’ and ‘bedroom kids’ is to make sure your kids feel safe wherever they are,” Priolo said.
Ligulin Bignor also reminds parents that having a “living room child” can sometimes be overwhelming. It’s okay to occasionally become a “bedroom parent” to recharge.
“Everyone needs a break. You can’t always have people around you,” Ligulin Bignor said. “It’s great to spend community and family time and build family belongings, but it’s also important to think about when you’re going to ensure you have time to fill the cup.”
Adrianna Rodriguez can visit adrodriguez@usatoday.com.
