Taylor Frankie Paul has moved from the “Soft Swing” scandal to a new face in “The Bachelorette.” It raises doubts: Does this mean that the view of society’s shaking is changing?
Utah-based influencer Paul, 31, went viral after revealing at a Tiktock live in 2022 that she and her husband, Tate Paul, were engaged in “soft swings” or limited sexual contact with other Mormon couples. Paul also appeared in The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, which began in 2024 and is known as “Momtok,” a friend of Paul and her influencer.
ABC announced earlier this month that Paul will be starring in the upcoming season, “The Bachelorette.”
Swing has long been a taboo topic, but in recent years it has attracted more attention. Because people engaged in swingers and other non-unique forms of shapes are moving forward to sharing their experiences on social media. Is the overall attitude of society an attitude towards swing shifts, as open soft swingers are set to appear in mainstream real-life dating shows like “The Bachelorette”?
“Taylor Frankie Paul is cast as the new “Bachelorette.” It triggers a lot of introspection and conversation among viewers about unrealistic possibilities,” says Jordan Pickel, trauma and relationship therapist. “Taylor’s openness about the history of “soft swing” can make people question their own assumptions about what monogamy and nonsynonymity look like in their own relationships. ”
The new “Bachelorette” is engaged in “soft swing.” What is it?
“Soft swing” is a form of swing that involves couples engaged in sexual activity with other couples, but with limited capacity, often intimate behavior being accepted and limited capacity with certain boundaries where it is not.
Paul married Tate Paul from 2016 to 2022, and the couple split after she said she “resigned” their soft swing agreement.
In an interview with Alex Cooper’s “Cole Her Daddy” podcast, Paul, the mother of three, said he was beginning to become the “Bachelorette.”
“It’s not attacking me,” Paul said. “Like now, like in this moment, I’m just thinking about it, it’s not real. It’s not true, until the limousine pulls up.”
Where is the “swing” stigma standing now?
The taboos of popular culture are still primarily taboo, but open relationships have been going through moments, at least online. Polyamory, non-ethical non-monogamy, similar terms have become a larger part of the cultural dictionary, as perhaps the most known type of open relationships are shaking.
Swing remains a controversial practice, and mental health experts previously told USA Today that it wasn’t for anyone. Couples interested in swings should know that practice does not fix broken relationships. Allison Moon is the author of “Getting It: A Guide to Hot, Healthy Hookups and Shame Free Free Sex.”
“Spouse exchange” as was known at the time, dates back to the 1940s through “Key Clubs.” In the 1950s it was called “wife swapping.” The number of people taking part in today’s swing is unknown – some estimates are below 2%, but one study from the North American Swing Club Alliance claims that 15% of couples in the US have tried it at least once in their marriage. Today, people visit swing clubs and otherwise connect online with fellow swingers.
Despite more conversations about the swing, the stigma remains.
Paul’s casting as the “Bachelorette” may be a turning point, as social media inspires more swingers from secrets.
“It’s been very underground for a very long time,” swinger Kylie George, who documented her journey with #swingtok, the hashtag with over 2.6 billion views in Tiktok, previously told USA Today. “And that’s just like a friend of a friend knows and people will tell you through word of mouth.”
Piquel doesn’t know if Paul’s stint as the “Bachelorette” will make the swing more popular, but she thinks it’s a symbol of greater cultural change.
“Whether people try to be non-monopoly in any way, greater cultural changes are directing more intentional relationships rather than following inherited social scripts,” Pickel says. “I think that’s a good thing.”
Contributors: David Oliver, Melina Kahn, Brian Alexander
