Gas, Israel
CNN
–
Keith Siegel was free for almost four months, but he still suffers from 484 days as Hamas hostages and the crisp images of what is being held in the Gaza tunnel.
“It bothers me every day,” Siegel, a double Israeli citizen in the US and Israel, told CNN. “Everything they are going through is very difficult for me to think about. I can’t bring those ideas out of my heart.”
Siegel isn’t just talking about the physical and psychological abuse he was exposed to prisoners, and the choking and malnutrition he faced in deep underground tunnels. He also fears that Israeli fierce artillery and ground attacks will either kill the remaining living hostages or drive Hamas to carry out.
Hamas and other extremist groups lured 251 people from Israel during the terrorist attack on October 7, 2023.
As Israel records 600 days since the war began, Siegel and dozens of former hostages and relatives are updating their call for a deal to end the conflict and ensure all releases of all 58 still prisoners, alive and dead. Protesters blocked the roads in Tel Aviv on Wednesday, gathering in front of the Hostage Square and the US Embassy, putting pressure on the Israeli government to make a deal with Hamas and return the remaining hostages.
For Omer Shem Tov, there is always a sense of guilt in the last hostages released before the ceasefire collapses in March. Every time he eats, he thinks that the hostages are not eating. Every time he showers, he knows that Gaza breeders still can’t.
“You can feel it here,” he says, pointing to his throat. “I feel like I’m suffocating.”
Like many other released hostages, Siegel and Shem Toff have dedicated much of their new freedom to advocate for the release of those left behind.
22-year-old Shem Tov considers hostages of his brothers and sisters after everything they endure. “I’ll fight for my family,” he told CNN. “They’re going through hell, and time matters.”
Most Israeli people want to see a ceasefire deal to bring the remaining hostages home, according to numerous polls, but as those who survived prisoners, the released hostages are the most powerful voice of the movement. They see their advocacy as an obligation closer to a sacrifice to those still in Gaza.
“Hostage life is now more important than removing Hamas,” Shem Tob said.
Meanwhile, Siegel raised awareness of the horrifying circumstances of the prisoners he endured and the dangers that the remaining hostages face.
Speaking from her daughter’s house in northern Israel, Siegel looked healthier than when she was released in February. He has regained some of the weight he lost in captivity, and the colour has returned to his face, and he has spent time with his family and in nature. However, his mind is not far from the thoughts of Gaza tunnels and the 22-year-old Israeli soldier, Matan Angrest, and the 48-year-old father of two, Omri Milan, was taken into custody with him.
“I think about them every day. Many times in a day. And I’m worried about them – and I miss them,” Siegel said.
Siegel and Milan were detained together for nearly five months until July 2024, spending their time talking about the shared taste of music and love for their family. Milan has two daughters, two daughters (now 2 and 4). Its name easily tumbles off Siegel’s tongue.
“It was extremely difficult for Omri to think about her daughter, who grew up without a father. How hard it was for him to think about his lack of growth and the milestones of development,” Siegel said.
Milan spoke to Siegel directly in a hostage video released by Hamas last month. Siegel said his fellow former prisoner looked like “another person in a negative way…”
Siegel hesitates to describe his relationship with Angrest as one of his father and son, but it is clear that he is trapped in a very small room for 67 days and shares a single bed. Angrest helped Siegel improve his Arabic and talked about his love for Maccabi Haifa Soccer Team and Day-Dreamt.
Siegel said he, Anse and Milan were praying that the Israeli army would save them with a bold operation. But all that changed in August when Hamas executed six hostages as Israeli forces were closed at the site. Siegel learned about it in captivity and his dreams quickly turned into nightmares.
“I was afraid that the IDF would try to save me and might be killed by a prisoner,” Siegel recalls. “It makes me worried about the hostages that are still there.”
He added that he believes that Israeli military expansion will increase the threat to hostage livelihoods, despite the promise of taking precautions to avoid harming the remaining prisoners.
“The hostages were killed from the war,” Siegel said. “I think this can be avoided by getting all the hostages back, and that’s the solution, and getting them back.
Shem Tov made his fears echo. The most frightening moment of the prisoner was that when an Israeli bomb fell around him, the weapon he knew was that “your life can be taken away at every moment.”
“I was afraid of dying from my brothers from my people,” Shem Tob said.
Siegel and Shem Toff met with President Donald Trump and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to ask for prioritization to reach a contract to free hostages. The Israeli Prime Minister has made it clear that he believes defeating Hamas is more important than releasing hostages, but many hostage defenders have put their hopes in Trump’s hands.
“I’m at home for his efforts,” Siegel said. “He wants to do this and believes it’s important to him. He tells us. I’ll ask him to do everything he can and do it as soon as possible, and get them all back.”
Shem Tob also believed he was freed for Trump’s efforts. At a meeting in the Oval Office at the White House in March, Shem Toff told him, “I told him I had a good future ahead of me.”
Shem Tov lost more than 50 pounds in captivity, he said. His food was initially reduced from two pitas and cheese to one biscuit every day.
However, he said his treatment at Hamas’ hands improved after Trump’s election, including receiving more food.
Hamas also said, “stop cursing me and stop spitting me out,” he said.
He frequently spoke about his prisoners and politics, and told him that they wanted Kamala Harris to win the US election.
“As soon as Donald Trump is elected, they want to bring hostages home,” Shem Tob said.
