Tel Aviv, Israel
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Elijah Cohen is a survivor who still can’t live himself again. He hid under his body as Hamas extremists threw a hand-rena bullet into the bomb shelter before taking the prisoners there. He lived in captivity for 505 days in Gaza, chaining and sharing scraps of pita and canned beans with other hostages. And he was released to his joyous family – and to find his girlfriend alive and waiting for him.
However, six months after he left Gaza, he says he cannot begin his recovery. No other hostages are yet to be held there.
“I feel guilty when I eat. I feel guilty when I shower. I feel guilty when I go to the hospital,” he told CNN in an exclusive interview with international correspondent Clarissorward. “I feel guilty because I know what they’re going through now.”
He recognizes he must work to heal his physical and mental wounds, but the thoughts of the last 20 living hostages in Gaza squeeze him every day, he says, he is the brothers of a family who cannot forget himself.
Cohen broke through Gaza’s border fences under rocket ails from Hamas and other groups who took part in the attack with girlfriend Ziv Abud and at the Nova Music Festival on the morning of October 7, 2023.
Cohen and Abdo, like many other festival participants, ran for the cover.
The pair, along with about 30 others, were hiding in a concrete bomb shelter, when they were discovered by the attacker who threw a hand-rena bullet. People in front of the bunker were killed by an explosion.
As more rena bullets were thrown out, Cohen and Abdo hid underneath the bodies. It was the only protection they could find.
“I talked a lot with ZIV… trying to see if she was alive and she told me, ‘At least (heaven), we’ll be fine,'” he said.
The militants attacked the shelter, fired gunshots, killed his girlfriend’s nephew and partner, and injured Cohen in his leg. He was found behind a pickup truck with Hirsch Goldberg Pollin and Levy, leaving Abd behind.
He thought he would never see her again.
“I was sure she had passed away. There’s no chance she’d survived it,” Cohen recalls.
When they arrived in Gaza, Cohen told him that Hamas militants wanted to use hostages to reach an agreement with Israel to release Palestinians from Israeli prisons.
He didn’t expect to be there for more than 500 days.
For most of his prisoners, Cohen said he was detained along with a small, dark, “abandoned” tunnel, or with Levi, Eli Sharabi and Aron O’Haru. Levy and Sharabi have been released. Ohel remains in captivity in Gaza.
He said their feet are tied up by motorcycle chains and it’s difficult to get to the toilet. He only showered once every two months and did not brush his teeth for a year. The four hostages shared pita bread and cans of beans every day “for a long time,” he recalled.
“For eight months, we slept on the floor… I dislocated my shoulder for many nights… We felt weak,” he added.
What kept Cohen strong was his cherishment of the bonds he had built with other hostages, particularly his relationship with Hirsch Goldberg Porin.
Goldberg Polin was hiding in the same shelter as Cohen when his hand bullet was blown away from his left arm. They were separated in Gaza and Cohen thought Goldberg Polin would probably not survive the injury.
Two months later, they met again in the tunnel, where they were temporarily detained together. Cohen instantly recognized him from his bandaged arm, and they were linked to their shared experiences at the bombshell shelter.
Goldberg Polin even helped Cohen learn English after giving him a book to read.
“We were together for three days and we felt like we’ve been friends for 10 years,” Cohen said.
Last summer, we were hoping that Goldberg Polin would be released in the first phase of the final ceasefire agreement, even if it was still a few months away. While they are together, Goldberg Polin promises Cohen to tell his parents that his son is alive. It was a promise he could never maintain.
Shortly afterwards, Goldberg Polin and five other hostages were killed by Hamas after Israeli forces approached the tunnel they were holding.
It was a shock when Cohen found it in captivity.
“I cried a lot. I didn’t really believe it,” Cohen said.
A difficult goodbye and an unexpected reunion
Cohen became emotionally explaining his time in captivity, especially when he mentions Oell, the last hostage he was held in custody.
After Sharabi and Levy were released in February in the first phase of the ceasefire agreement signed in January, Cohen’s prisoners told him he was on the next list.
That meant leaving Ohel behind.
“It was a difficult situation…we hugged each other and we started crying,” he said.
When Cohen returned home, he was shocked to discover that his girlfriend Abdo had survived the bombshell shelter and had been campaigning for his release ever since.
“I can’t put into words how it felt,” he said. “It was a dream. It felt like a dream, and for a week, watching her, I felt like a dream,” he said.
A month later, Israel launched a wave of deadly airstrikes throughout the Gaza Strip, shattering the ceasefire and Cohen’s hope to see Ohel soon. Cohen has since found little reason for hope.
Earlier this month, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu vowed to further expand the military’s attacks and occupy Gaza city.
The plan warned that within Israel, the remaining 50 hostage families (some of whom are also dead are alive), could spark harsh criticism in Gaza, warning that movements will be lost forever.
After 22 months of pounding in Gaza, Israel faces global condemnation of its actions and Palestinian starvation.
When Cohen was moved from one tunnel to another, he got a glimpse of Gaza, and could be described as “apocalypse.”
He said the only way Ohel and the rest of the hostages would return is through a transaction, and he urged Netanyahu to return to the negotiation table.
“I believe they can bring all the hostages into the house, just like I went home.”
