How to deal with grief
Learn healthy ways to overcome and heal sadness from miserable experiences.
Our pets are our most trusted and precious companions. When they die, our lives are never exactly the same. We cry. We lament. We are sad.
Perhaps that’s why the “soulmate hard” trend is showing up in Tiktok. There, users pay tribute to their furry friends (and make people cry in the process). One such video followed by choked comments: “The worst part of keeping a dog. They’re not long enough here.” “Amazing, I’m going to cry and sleep.” “As long as (you) do your best as a pet parent, don’t forget that your pet had the best life possible!”
According to licensed marriage and family therapist Laurie Johnson, grief experts often talk about grief of being disenfranchised or about losses that are not openly recognized, socially grieving and publicly supported. They say it is effective, and this trend highlights its possible impact and catharsis.
“This reflects more modern times people are learning a tendency to a deep anticipated sadness or sense of sadness that has been disenfranchised,” says Gina Moffa, a sadness and trauma therapist at LCSW in New York City, “movement does not mean letting go.” “It normalizes pet loss and the importance of our beloved pets in our lives in society can sometimes fail to recognize or respect.”
“Unconditional love we respect”
No, pets are not human. But for some, they certainly seem soulmates. Who else do you take a whimsical walk or hug it under a cozy, comfortable blanket at night? Certainly family and friends, but pets offer that special kind of unconditional love.
“One thing we often overlook is how animals do it right. They provide unconditional love that we respect as humans, but often struggle to live because of our complexities and limitations.”
What is “powered mourning”?
There’s no problem watching or posting these videos. It’s okay to call your pet your “soulmate.” Not everyone understands it, but it’s not about them. It’s about you and your animals.
“Losing a pet is a serious loss, and so being ‘soulmates work hard’ can normalize the importance of pets in our lives.
That normalization is partially done thanks to scrolling on Tiktok and other social media apps. “This trend may resonate very deeply, as it provides people with a way to publicly respect the love and loss of being that means that,” Johnson says.
Tiktok offers what is called “empowered mourning.” Reclaim the story of an invalid or embarrassing journey.
“Yes, ‘Yes, this is deeply important’, praises the embarrassment and gives others permission to do the same,” adds Moffa.
And education about grief, all kinds – better.
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