Jim Obersifel talks about LGBTQ+ rights 10 years after Supreme Court ruling
Jim Obergefell, the lead plaintiff in the Supreme Court case that legalized gay marriages across the country, looks back on its impact in a decade.
On June 26, 2015, Jim Obersifel sat in the Supreme Court gallery, he waited to hear his name. Justice is Obergefellv. He was preparing to control the Hodges. This was a case of progress towards US LGBTQ+ rights, and although it ultimately won favors for the majority of judicial purveyors when same-sex couples consider the right to marry, for Obergefell, the moment wasn’t.
His husband, John Arthur, passed away several years before the verdict was announced.
Now, ten years later, he sat down with USA Today to reflect on how love for each other has helped shape the fight for marriage equality in the United States, and what progress is still in the fight for equality.
Obergefell and Arthur met in 1992 and got engaged in 1993. It continues to the present day when their journey as pioneers of marriage equality first began, and for Obergefell.
This conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
Question: There was no formal marriage option, but I worked in traditional diamond rings. What did that ring mean to you in 1993?
Answer: Diamond ring means you are the person I have chosen. You are the person I want to spend my life and we don’t have the ability to do legal things, but at least you know that is what I feel.
And from there, what was your journey to getting married?
John and I just built a life together. We bought our first home. We created a large circle of friends and family in Cincinnati. People who saw us and treated us as a couple and dedicated couples.
It wasn’t until 2011 that things really took an unexpected turn. John was diagnosed with ALS. Instead of watching decades together, we knew that time together would be limited to within 2-5 years. John advanced quite rapidly, and by April 2013 he had begun with home hospice care.
We could have put him in the facility, but we had to think about things other couples didn’t have to think about. How is he treated as a gay man in the facility? How will he be treated as his partner for almost 21 years? We had no law or rights. I have made a decision. Because that means I can keep him safe and comfortable.
At what point did you really begin to feel that you need to fight for this for the recognition of legal marriage?
On June 26, 2013, I stood next to his bed, holding his hand as news came out of the Supreme Court that their decision in the US vs. Windsor had repealed the marriage law. It was the law that defined marriage between one man and one woman. And we hadn’t talked about marriage again since the mid-90s. But I always wanted to get married because the news had sunk. Here we could marry and at least let the federal government see us, recognize us, and treat us as a married couple.
So I voluntarily proposed and he said, yes.
How did this argument go from it to ultimately suing the state and eventually getting caught up in the Supreme Court?
We lived in Ohio and had our own national level marriage defense laws, so we were unable to obtain a marriage license or get married at home.
Through the generosity of our family and friends, they covered the costs of chartered medical jets. Then, on July 11, 2013, I flew from Cincinnati to Baltimore Washington International Airport. We stayed in that medical jet (Tarmac). And I had to take his hand and say, “I.”
A local civil rights lawyer read about our story at the Cincinnati Enquiler and he reached out to us through mutual friends and said, “Hey, I want to come and talk to you because there’s a problem you don’t think about.”
Five days after we got married, Al Gerhardstein came to our house and he pulled out a blank Ohio death certificate.
“If John dies, this document, his last record as a person, would be wrong,” he said.
John and I knew Ohio would not recognize our marriage. But it was abstract. The document made that abstract understanding a reality, knowing that John’s final record was wrong. And that hurts. It pissed us off.
So when (al) said, “Do you want to do something about it?” (John and I) spoke about it in less than a minute and said yes.
It was Tuesday five days after we got married. On Friday, eight days after we got married, we filed a lawsuit in U.S. District Court suing Ohio Gov. John Casic and Attorney General Mike DeWine.
For John’s health, a federal judge had to clear his docket, so he heard the discussion about the case on Monday, 11 days after we got married. And that day he ruled over our favor. And John passed away that day three months later, but he died as a married man.
Therefore, the record was correct at the time of his death. And your name is on his death certificate, but the fight didn’t stop there. The judge agreed with you, but that was reversed following the appeal. At that point, how did you decide to continue the fight, saying that your documents are correct?
When Al said, “Do you want to continue fighting?” My immediate answer was, “Of course.” Otherwise, I would not be able to live up to my promise to John. I have promised to love, respect and protect him. And if I don’t continue to fight against this to make sure our marriage is not erased, I have failed my promise.
I’ve seen other interviews saying you never actually considered yourself an activist. So, how did you sue Ohio from the gym in Ohio to be the name of gay rights?
It’s John’s fault because we loved each other and wanted to exist.
We each other and learn that having it means not reflected in his death certificate, it broke our hearts, but I think more importantly, really made us mad.
I loved John. He loved me. We finally had the opportunity to say I would. But then, to understand how the state of our hometown, where I was born and raised, completely ignored us, made me mad and angered us.
It’s amazing what happens when you love someone and when you’re willing to fight for what you know you’re right.
You were in DC on the day that decision was down.
John missed him and thought he loved him.
I thought about the many people I met during the course of the incident, people who approached me and shared photos, and were talking to me about what this potential decision meant to them and what it meant to those they loved.
And for the first time in my life as a gay person, it’s an unexpected realization that I actually felt like an equal American. I didn’t expect to feel it and it was a truly beautiful realization. I feel equal.
And now you are in a history book. What does that feel like?
This importance is whenever someone stops me, hugs me, starts crying, shares photos of my family, spouses, children, and tells stories, and really feels this importance. It’s a gift every time it happens. Because I see in their faces what their marriage equality meant to them, their family, their loved ones.
Are you nervous that Obergefell will be overturned one day? And what do you think is the biggest battle our community is facing right now?
Yes, I’m worried about marriage equality.
If Obergefell is overturned, we will return to the time or place where the strange couple in Ohio where I live might want to marry, but since Ohio still has national level defense of book marriage, it is possible that we will refuse to issue a marriage license.
Our biggest challenge is to ensure that we do not lose the progress we made.
We must fight together to ensure that all marginalized communities maintain the rights they have. This cannot be done by yourself. We must fight for not only us, but for all marginalized communities. And unfortunately, now, the trans community, they are bearing the brunt of it.
Given all the challenges we just discussed, what do you tell the young people now?
Most importantly, they are not alone. There are activists like me, people involved, people involved, people there, people fighting on the streets in government halls, in our state legislatures. There are millions of people who believe in their humanity, their dignity and their right to the future.
Zach Wichter is a travel journalist and writes the USA Today Cruising Advanced Column. He is based in New York and can be contacted at zwichter@usatoday.com.
