First of all, the question is why? Why do we need this documentary? Besides the name of the movie, who commissioned it? And who cares?
First Lady Melania Trump promotes movie on New York Stock Exchange
First lady Melania Trump promoted her new movie at the New York Stock Exchange.
Like most Americans, I’m excited that I won’t be able to watch the unsolicited documentary Melania Trump, produced by and starring First Lady Melania Trump.
Did I mention her name is “Melania”? A better title might have been “The Turducken of Narcissism,” but that would be very difficult.
The documentary will be released in a surprising number of theaters nationwide starting January 30th. Amazon-MGM Studios paid the First Lady’s production company a whopping $40 million for the rights to the film, and another $35 million to promote the nearly two-hour celebration of Me. I am convinced that the investment has nothing to do with a giant corporation trying to curry favor with an administration led by one of the most high-profile political families in history. It’s a complete coincidence.
Regardless of Amazon’s intentions, this unprecedented public display of the first lady’s bravado provides an opportune opportunity to mock patriotism at a time when America is in absolute turmoil, with horrific immigrant roundups and masked federal agents shooting Americans on a daily basis.
It’s our patriotic duty to mock Melania Trump’s documentary
And while there’s plenty to laugh at, you don’t have to shell out big bucks to see the giant bilge that Amazon is trying to foist on the American people.
First of all, the question is why? Why do we need this documentary? Besides the name of the movie, who commissioned it? And who cares?
Melania Trump has been a largely invisible figure in both Trump administrations, and perhaps the most relatable thing about her is that she is rarely seen with her husband. Her approval rating is lower than that of previous first ladies. In fact, she consistently ranks last.
And although, as the wife of the world’s biggest bully, she made anti-bullying campaigning her signature first-term effort without a whiff of irony, “Be Best” was an insignificant flop.
Why would Amazon make a documentary about an insignificant person?
One would think that to be the subject of a documentary, one would have to have accomplished something more than being a co-conspirator in two of the most cruel, dishonest, and dangerous presidential terms in American history.
That may be why the first lady had to bring director Brett Ratner, who was forced out of Hollywood over sexual assault allegations, into making the film. Given President Donald Trump’s sordid past and the many allegations he has faced, Ratner looks like the perfect candidate for Sunday’s showpiece.
USA TODAY asked Jeff Bock, senior media analyst for exhibitor relations, whether “Melania” will be Ratner’s comeback film.
“I don’t think so,” Bock said. “I think that’s the only job he can get.”
ah.
‘Melania’ documentary likely to be a huge failure
Even if this new documentary predictably fails, we still have a patriotic duty to poke fun at the subject of this documentary and film.
Trump lied and continues to lie about the results of the 2020 presidential election, incited the attack on the U.S. Capitol, and then pardoned all of the convicted attackers. Melania remained silent.
President Trump has put members of Congress and other Americans at risk with countless dishonest and highly inflammatory social media posts and public comments. Melania remained silent.
President Trump has separated immigrant children from their parents, bombed fishing boats at sea under the plausible claim that they were carrying drugs, and spewed racist lies about Haitian, Somali, Mexican, and Venezuelan immigrants. And although Melania herself is an immigrant, she has remained silent.
Melania Trump is complicit in everything Donald Trump does
In response to the killing of Alex Preti at the hands of federal agents in Minneapolis, Melania Trump issued a lukewarm call for peace on Fox News, placing all the blame on protesters, saying, “I’m against violence, so if you’re going to protest, please protest peacefully. In times like these, we need to come together.”
In this statement, “we” means those who oppose the husband’s violent excesses. we must maintain peace. As if the first lady is doing everything she can to keep things calm.
This weekend, let’s take a moment to mock “Melania.” That’s good for America.
Unlike Melania, who can apparently pay $40 million to shoot a movie that celebrates herself, you can’t pay me enough money to watch “Melania.” If you want to watch someone’s insignificant things for two hours, you can make some popcorn at home and stare at yourself in the mirror.
People who haven’t done anything to deserve the power they have certainly don’t deserve to make a movie about how inspiring they are. And people who do such things tend to instinctively hate being made fun of.
So you know what to do. This weekend, while Amazon eats away at its $40 million investment, a movie that no one wanted will be seen by a relatively small number of underlings and MAGA enthusiasts…whatever.
Let’s fill the air with laughter.
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk.
