Sean “Diddy” Combs Trial Day 4: Defense Cross Excumes Cathy
Shawn “Diddy” Combs’ defense strategy began to focus as his lawyer cross-examined his ex-girlfriend, Kathy Ventura.
Casandra Ventura Fine told the ju judge on May 14 that she physically abused her, from dragging her out to knocking her to the side of her head. In one incident, she said he was verbally accusing her, recalling that she had punched him in her face for the first time.
“I had never experienced anything like that before,” said Venture, the R&B singer best known as Cathy, who said she was “really beaten badly.” When rumors of the incident circulated online, she said her mom and dad had asked about it. Cathy testified that she didn’t tell her mother the truth because she was “embarrassed.”
Prior to the trial, Combs’ lawyers said they wanted to show that instead of denying Combs’ violence, they would “clash with both sides.”
“Domestic violence, we absolutely acknowledge that,” said Mark Agnifilo, the chief lawyer for Combs, but added that it was “mutually violent.” Combs’ legal team punished Ventura on May 16th, about what her lawyers called her own history of domestic violence.
However, sexual violence experts argue that “mutual abuse” claims are tactics used to avoid liability from perpetrators and to undermine the power imbalances that promote domestic violence, and to further undermine the harmful stereotypes of “complete victims.”
Although there may be unhealthy behaviors from both partners involved in an abusive relationship, one person tends to have more control than the other.
Ventura Fine testified that Combs had abused her over the years. She was 19 when she met Combs. He was 17 years old and was founded in the music industry and signed a contract for 10 albums.
“Her livelihood and safety was dependent on keeping the defendant happy,” Attorney Emily Johnson said on May 12. Prosecutors said Kushi and Kathy were “dishonest and jealous,” but “only one person was strong.”
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How the idea of ”mutual abuse” harms victims
Domestic violence experts say the idea of ”mutual abuse” is difficult. In an abusive relationship, one partner tends to retain more power or become a major attacker. The other might react violently, but that’s probably all – the reaction.
“One person is controlling others, stripping them of their autonomy and stripping them of their independence,” says sociologist Nicole Bedella. “That’s not something that can be done by one another.”
Defense strategy for Shaun “Diddy” comb in his sex crime trial
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Abusers can manipulate and abuse victims to each other by saying things like, “What you said made me behave like that” or “You started this.”
Victims may “become shocked by their own violent reactions,” says Jordan Pickel, trauma and relationship therapist. “They are scared and have little strength.”
“Abuse is intended to be confusing by design,” she adds. “This reciprocal language covers the extent of abuse, which hurts all survivors because it challenges themselves and cultivates a sense of self-deprecation.”
The idea of the “perfect victim”
We have an inherent expectation of how victims of abuse should act, respond and act.
However, abusive relationships often have mixed feelings. The victim can be sexually, physically, or emotionally abused, but he has loving feelings for his partner. Eight in ten victims of rape knew who raped them before the incident, whether they were current or former intimate partners or acquaintances.
Piquel works with clients who are “terrified of their actions” as Ventura Fine testified that she is feeling embarrassed. It can take time for them to realize that they are victims of abuse.
And it’s important to remember that abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of personality, behavior or response. When they have a clear idea of what the victim will look like, Pickel says, “We mistakenly believe that it won’t happen to us.”
I also want to believe that author, research professor and clinical psychologist Shelley Humvey previously told USA Today that they are all “monsters” and that they can find perpetrators of abuse. But “they don’t have horns that come out of their heads. Many of them are very attractive when they want to be.”
There is no “right way” for victims to deal with abuse
There is no gold standard when it comes to dealing with abuse, as domestic and sexual violence can appear different in each case and relationship.
“If you didn’t fight back, people would say, ‘Well, you must have had a problem with it. You must have liked it. That must have been agreed in some way,” explains Bedella. “And if you fight back, they’ll say, ‘Well, you weren’t abusive either?” ”
She says, “The whole point is that there is always something to criticize and there is always a reason to justify the violence of the perpetrator.”
According to a 2020 study by the National Domestic Violence Coalition, approximately one in five female victims and one in 20 male victims of sexual, physical, and/or stalking, resulting in medical care. An average of 76 women are shot dead by their intimate partners each month. The most dangerous period for the safety of the victim is when they leave an abusive relationship. Notifying them of their abusive partner or plan to leave can put the victim at greater risk of murder and violence of their intimate partners.
Just as the way women use intuition and judgment to navigate the experience of street harassment, whether they are running around or not, victims are flying, fighting and freezing their answers to survive each attack.
“Through the entire period of their abusive relationship… the victims are making the decision to protect themselves at key moments that will literally keep them alive,” adds Bedella. “When we hold our victims to the standard of “perfect victims,” what we are attacking is the tools and tactics that keep them alive. ”
Bedella says she will not think too much about the victim’s reaction and refrain from deciding whether she handled the abuse in a “how the victim thinks it should.”
“It’s not really something that’s been tried here,” she reminds people keep an eye on the lawsuit. “What’s on trial is how the perpetrator behaves and what he does.”
If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, call the domestic domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text “Start” 88788.
Contributors: Anna Kaufman, Patrick Ryan, Edward Segara
