Do I want to divorce or is this menopause? This is a question that resonates with medieval women, whose hormones are changing. Children leave, parents move, and careers often peak.
Menopause care is lacking, leading to delays in care professionals
Dr. Stephanie Faubion of the Menopause Society said medical schools need better menopause training to prevent misdiagnosis and improve patient care.
- The divorce rate is declining overall, but divorces among adults over 50 are on the rise.
- For some women, getting help with menopause improves relationships. Others say it makes it clear to them that it leaves.
- Understanding menopause, involving partners in talking to friends and getting help with symptoms can help women thrive during menopause.
Melissa McClure’s husband asked if it was a midlife crisis.
No, she told him: “I am widely awakened to what my life is and I don’t include you in that.”
McClure didn’t sleep well. She had hot flashes. Her husband’s loud biting sent her into rage. His negative attitude bothered her, and she was no longer grateful as a wife and stepmother.
They were together for 14 years, but during menopause she realized she wanted to get divorced.
“We spend the entire adult life taking care of our husbands, partners and children. We as caregivers give ourselves to others and lose ourselves in the process,” says the photographer 44. “It’s not a midlife crisis, it’s an awakening.”
Do I want to divorce or is this menopause? It’s a question that resonates with middle-aged women as hormones change as stress increases. Children move, parents move, and often enter at peak careers.
The divorce rate is declining overall, but divorces among adults over 50 are on the rise. In 1990, one in ten of all divorces in the United States occurred among adults over the age of 50. By 2019, that percentage had grown to one in four, according to a survey conducted by the Bowling Green State University’s Center for Family and Marriage Research. This coincides with the time most women experience menopause and menopause.
The Menodivorce is rising.
Of course, menopause and menopause (previous times) are not new, but more doctors are aware of it and treating women. More women are aware of the symptoms and say it can bring clarity. Their patience is gone and they ultimately prioritize their needs. And that often means you don’t want to marry.
Seven in 10 women condemn the period of menopause or menopause for marriage breakdown, according to a study conducted in the UK by the Family Law Menopause Project and Newsom Health Research and Education.
McClure ended her marriage three years ago and says she is happier than ever.
I love my husband, but I hate him
Most women say many factors led to divorce, but they often say that menopause or menopause made them unable to tolerate the issues they ignored.
“I hear that from patients every week,” says Dr. Sameena Rahman, an expert at OB-gyn and Sex and Menopause in Chicago. “They may still love their husbands and partners, but they hate them and can no longer hold back on what they were holding back.”
Women in perimenopause and menopause can experience a variety of symptoms, both from lack of libido to restless sleep, raising their children and managing a tough career, while also being able to experience a variety of symptoms, says Rahman. The surrounding area often occurs around 40 cases, and menopause begins around the age of 50.
Many women say they are unable to carry the majority of their mental load.
“Our hormones give us this protection to cater to others. There’s a lot of responsiveness as they start to shift. Women are busy caring for everyone and now they have to take care of themselves.” “And this is when they may decide that the relationship is no longer worth it.”
For years, men have denounced menopause divorces, saying women are hypersensitive and irrational, says Agenda founder Alix Cobble Frake, who is the founder of the Agenda, an app that helps women track their menstrual cycles to improve productivity.
“We hear this story from men. My wife is crazy,” she says. “But that isn’t the case: women have a clearer perimenopause period.
Katy Viva divorced last year after 24 years of marriage and raising three children.
“There was always something while the kids were growing up. Basketball, hockey, volleyball, gymnastics. You spent 15 to 20 years and get three people in three different places. “If your kids finish that kind of thing, you take a step back and realize. I’m married to someone I don’t want to marry anymore.”
Viva says that during menopause she was tired and annoyed her. “I don’t know if that caused the divorce, but menopause makes me not want to put up with the bullshit anymore,” Viva says. “Life is too long. It’s not too short. I have time left. I don’t want to spend time with people who don’t respect people who don’t love me.”
Did she want to get divorced or was she a menopause cycle?
For some women, getting help with symptoms improves relationships. They can feel better and get better with their partners on changes such as reduced sexual desire, fatigue, and irritability.
Dixon says that sometimes perimenopause forces a conversation where men can step up and become better partners.
When Donna Hofmeister first began experiencing menopause, she no longer felt like she was.
“It hurts your relationship — you can have sex, feel tired, and gain weight,” says Hofmeister, 55.
Hofmeister eventually received hormone therapy, helping her husband understand what she was going through. “He’s a great guy. He wanted me to feel better, but he didn’t know what to do,” she says. “It puts that strain on your relationship. But taking it about it helped. That’s what got us through.”
A 2022 UK survey found that the majority of women who were not receiving menopause support or treatment said that if they were, it could have positively impacted their relationship and avoided breakdowns in marriage.
How to survive the perimenopause period
Get help. Do not experience menopause without proper guidance. Talk to your healthcare provider about options such as hormone therapy.
“Push to make sure you have what you need,” says Annie Vovan, a former pharmacist and life coach for middle-aged women in Southern California.
The 2002 Women’s Health Initiative (WHI) linked hormone therapy to a slightly higher risk of breast cancer, heart attacks and stroke, which delayed or skipped treatment. It was later found that the risk was mostly discovered in older women when they began hormone therapy.
A new push by physicians and researchers on the Food and Drug Administration committee has pushed the agency to remove what they say is an outdated warning about topical menopause treatment, including estrogens. Currently, such drugs include warnings about the possibility of breast cancer and should not be used to prevent cardiovascular disease or dementia, but may increase the risk of stroke, clots and potential dementia.
Hormonal therapy is the most effective treatment for menopause, and is the first recommendation, according to the North American Menopause Society.
It will involve your partner. Bring them to a medical appointment or share a men’s menopause guide. “If you want to stay with this. You don’t rely on women to change everything. For men, it’s their job to step up and learn about this,” says Cobble Frank.
Leaning over to your friends. Tell us what you are going through, and we say. says McClure. She says she knows her friends are now open to talking about the perimenopause period. She suggests that they go to treatment and talk about their perimenopause treatment options. “They know that seeking divorce was tough,” she says. “But I’m happier than ever.”
Laura Trujillo is a national columnist focused on health and wellness. She is the author of “Back from the Shelf: A Daughter’s Truth and the Exploration of Updates” and can be contacted at ltrujillo@usatoday.com.
