Inexpensive Father’s Day gift ideas that dad will use every day
From his home in Phoenix, Christopher Juniel shares affordable Father’s Day gift ideas and explains how dads can put them to use.
There’s a video game that’s been talked about for making players cry.
It’s called “Pragmata” and from the outside it looks like a typical sci-fi action game. There’s also a gun. There’s an explosion. Throughout the game, you play as Hugh, an astronaut fighting his way back to Earth from a lunar research facility.
But you’re not alone. You have a companion, a robot girl named Diana, who fights and protects you throughout the game. As the story progresses, Hugh and Diana develop a kind of father-daughter bond. That’s the part of this game that shocks players to the core and sparks massive discussion online.
“What… what is this feeling inside me? It can’t be… like… I want to protect… I want to be… a father…” one X user wrote. Another wrote: “I will burn everything to anyone who tries to harm her.” One Reddit user described playing the game as “therapy for the soul” after losing his own daughter at age 8 in 2009.
Psychologists say the nurturing instinct is not exclusive to women, although much of popular culture may suggest otherwise. Men generally have an innate paternal instinct, which can be activated whether or not they have children of their own.
It’s no wonder that “Pragmata” created such a stir by tapping into this deep part of the male psyche. Approximately three weeks after its release on April 17th, the game has already sold over 2 million copies worldwide.
“The caring instinct, as I understand it, is Mother Nature’s way of helping humanity survive,” says relationship therapist Philip Lewis. “If a child is born and the mother doesn’t want to take care of the child, and the father doesn’t want to take care of the child, then the child dies. There has to be some motive.”
How does “pragmata” tap into the paternal instinct?
Many men want to become a father someday. Many men also have an instinct to protect and care for the vulnerable.
But men’s familial impulses are rarely recognized in wider society, Lewis says, to the same extent as women. He ventures to speculate that many men who play “pragmata” do not often envision themselves playing the role of parents in their daily lives.
“This is helping people have the experience of relating to others,” he added. “We need to connect with other people. It’s like eating, breathing, and sleeping. We need to connect.”
Psychotherapist Stephanie Serkis says it’s no surprise that some of the men who played Pragmata expressed a desire to become new fathers.
“It’s an experience of a caregiving role, which may be the first time some people experience it,” she says. “In other words, they are discovering parts of themselves that cannot be expressed in everyday life.”
This game will probably also resonate with those who have experienced parental trauma in their own lives. By giving players a chance to simulate a positive bond between parent and child, the game may also provide important psychological healing for some players, Lewis said.
“Most people experience some form of relationship breakdown or relationship challenge while growing up,” Lewis says. “It’s an inherent part of life. For example, if something hasn’t gone particularly well with your family, for example, being able to experience a healthy parenting connection can be quite transformative for people. … There’s a psychological urge to give something that didn’t work the first time a second chance.”
paternal instinct of men in society
Although men have an innate paternal instinct, Serkis says the nurturing and parental side of the male psyche is often overlooked in cultural messages about men.
“Men tend to receive fewer cultural messages about parenting,” she says. “So when a game takes on a caregiving role, it can bring that emotion to the forefront. It makes someone more aware of that emotion.”
Instead, in much of popular culture, men often receive messages encouraging them to be stoic and unemotional. The truth is, Lewis says, men have a deep and wide range of emotions that encompass both traditionally masculine and traditionally feminine aspects. The same goes for women.
“Men are typically thought of as stoic, leaders, and unemotional. Women are the opposite,” says Lewis. “These are stereotypes. They’re not real life. Every person is different in so many ways, but there’s also pressure to live that role. And that has a lot of influence on boys and girls growing up.”
When a game like “Pragamata” that approaches the deep parts of the male psyche, which are often overlooked, comes out, it is sure to evoke sympathy.
“Again, there’s a desire to connect, to be compassionate, to be altruistic, to be a team, and frankly, to be emotional with other people,” Lewis says. “And very often men are not given that opportunity.”
