This is grief with a purpose.
More than four years after the tragic loss of his only son, Dwayne Haskins Sr. is determined to add compassion and depth to the legacy of the former NFL quarterback’s complicated life, and perhaps help others.
Here are some words to describe this. “wonderful”. Brave. spiritual.
Through her family’s foundation, Haskins will host a talkback discussion about mental health on May 16 at the Gaithersburg Arts Barn in Maryland, followed by a community walk in conjunction with the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) to honor her son’s life and launch an awareness campaign. He believes his son, who was a Heisman Trophy finalist in 2018 and led the NCAA with 4,831 passing yards and 50 touchdowns in his only season as a starter at Ohio State, but was waived less than two seasons after being a first-round pick by Washington in 2019, suffered from unchecked mental health issues as his career and life quickly deteriorated off course.
A day after celebrating Dwayne Jr.’s 29th birthday on May 3, Haskins told USA TODAY Sports, “Brother, this is personal to me. I’ve never said anything publicly about Dwayne.”
This floor is yours, sir.
“I knew my son had mental health issues,” Haskins said. Haskins’ family includes his wife Tamara and daughter Tamia. “Our family recognizes that it is very difficult for a professional athlete to communicate that he has a mental health issue when he is chasing his dreams. There is a stigma attached to it.
“We started recognizing the warning signs that something was wrong with Dwayne, and now we’ve become advocates for people to be aware of that. There are mental health conditions that come on over a period of time, and then suddenly something traumatizes a person and they can’t make effective decisions. And it keeps getting triggered and triggered.”
It’s a remarkable coincidence that Haskins is launching this campaign, which he hopes to develop and roll out across the country next year, at a time when the NFL is ramping up its mental health support programs following the tragic suicides of two current players in recent months: Marshawn Kneeland of the Dallas Cowboys and Rondale Moore of the Minnesota Vikings.
“I think there’s still a stigma, but I think that stigma is not so much about mental health in general, but about help-seeking behavior,” Dr. Nyaka Neelampti, the NFL’s vice president of wellness and clinical services, told USA TODAY Sports.
“Is prejudice a sign of weakness? Is asking for help a sign of weakness?”
At the last NFL owners meeting in late March, the league announced an expansion of mental health services, requiring all 32 teams to hire a full-time mental health clinician to work at each team’s headquarters. Previously, the league required teams to have a part-time clinician. Additionally, the NFL is currently partnering with Cigna to create a network of experts that players and their families can tap into beyond team experts.
“You’d be surprised how receptive players are to utilizing these resources,” said Neelamptti, who held a similar position with the NFL Players Association (NFLPA) before joining the NFL. “Some players say, ‘Look, I have an athletic trainer, right? I have a strength and conditioning coach. Why don’t I have someone to go through what’s going on in my head?'”
NiiLampti hopes expanding the NFL program will solve the challenges of getting support and resources quickly. Undoubtedly, timing is critical when a crisis occurs.
“They don’t have time. They need someone to work with them now,” Neelampti said. “We need to find a way to engage them and strike while the iron is hot.”
Haskins wasn’t aware of the NFL’s recent announcement to place more emphasis on mental health support programs, but he praised the effort. Looking back on his son’s journey, he wonders if there are barriers to recognizing his son’s challenges from a mental health perspective.
“I think that was the problem. He wasn’t strong enough to say, ‘I want help,'” Haskins said. “But we knew something was wrong. That’s why the (May 16) celebration is a place to make people aware of the red flags.”
Let’s put ourselves in the father’s shoes. There is no one way to deal with the loss of a son or daughter. Haskins realized that the grief would last the rest of her life. He noted that even though he and Tamara are still grieving the loss of their young mother in 1988, they have been forced to deal with the loss of their son in other circumstances. Dwayne Jr. didn’t get a chance to say goodbye until the early morning hours of April 9, 2022, when he was struck by a dump truck while crossing the highway in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
And the circumstances surrounding his death (according to a toxicology report, Dwayne Jr. was legally drinking alcohol with ketamine and other drugs in his system, fueling suspicions of foul play) left many unanswered questions. Dwayne Jr., who played his third and final NFL season as a backup for the Pittsburgh Steelers in 2021, was in Florida for several weeks of offseason training.
Although Haskins did not address controversies such as the dismissal of Dwayne Jr.’s image rights lawsuit against his widow Calabria, it seems clear that his focus on mental health, in addition to his Christian faith, is an anchor in processing this tragedy.
At the next event, they will use the acronym “NINO” to clarify the theme of paying attention to warning signs. He hopes that eventually it will be widely recognized as a distress signal.
“NINO – ‘No, I’m not okay’ – would become a code word for people who don’t understand or don’t know how to express their emotions,” Haskins said. “We believe that if we can make this acronym stick, we can save more lives and provide solutions with more attention and support from mental health organizations like NAMI.”
Talk about dealing with bias. I have a suggestion for the NFL. Work with Haskins to visit teams, share his journey and speak to players. Imagine the actual conversations in these sessions.
Especially now, with so many NFL coaches and executives claiming to be more sensitive to mental health issues after the tragedies of recent months. This realization resonates enough that some say it was a factor in evaluating prospects heading into recent drafts.
“This generation has a lot of stress and anxiety and probably deals with it very differently than our generation,” Los Angeles Rams GM Les Sneed told USA TODAY Sports, alluding to social patterns. “But I also know this: If you think about what they’ve been through, this group has been pushed into a corner.
“You’re a professional athlete and you’re a company. You make a bad play and the next minute you’re a meme. I know there are other variables, but as a general manager and a father, you definitely understand what the reality is for this generation.”
Haskins knows. What happens on the field and on social media only scratches the surface. One of his key messages for the upcoming event refers to what he calls “the perseverance of dreams,” which includes a myriad of potential pitfalls.
Even if he sounds like a man with a spiritual mission, he probably won’t agree.
Haskins says matter-of-factly that his campaign was inspired by a message from God: “This needs to be shared in order for you to deal with it.”
I can also imagine the message from my son.
“Dwayne is looking down on us right now,” Haskins said. “And it’s, ‘I’m so proud of you, mom and dad. You’re raising awareness on my behalf.'”
That is a very noble purpose.
If you or someone you know is in need of mental health resources or support, call, text or chat with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or visit 988lifeline.org for access to our free and confidential service 24/7.
Contact Bell at jbell@usatoday.com or follow X: @JarrettBell
