These women prove that female friendships matter
She wanted her best friend to accompany her to the mammogram, not her husband. They stayed by each other’s side through breakups, mastectomies, and chemotherapy.
Jennifer Taylor’s breast cancer story started like thousands of other women: finding a lump.
Her doctor assumed it was hormonal, but sent her for a mammogram and ultrasound just to be sure. In the days leading up to her mammogram appointment, Taylor began to get nervous. She called her best friend, Adrian Finkel, and asked, “Probably nothing, but I don’t want to go alone so can you come with me?”
Nearing 40, and after a devastating breakup, Finkel had just upended his life in Los Angeles, moved across the border with his two dogs, and made a new start in New York City, where Taylor and his family live. She didn’t have a job yet. That was easy.
“My husband was upset that I wanted Adrian to come,” Taylor said. But it turns out she was good to do so, as men were not allowed in the back room where she anxiously awaited her results.
Taylor might be up to something. The 2021 American Perspectives Survey found that more than half of Americans say they turn to their partner first when they have a problem, while 16% say they turn to a friend first. Several studies over the past 20 years have shown that having good friends can help you live longer and improve your mental health. A 2016 study of breast cancer patients found that women with more social connections were less likely to suffer from cancer recurrence and less likely to die from breast cancer than women without strong support systems. The findings confirmed a similar study conducted in China in 2011.
“I feel so lucky to have Adrian and to have friends who support me, because a lot of women don’t have that,” Taylor said.
“They’re like sisters.”
Taylor and Finkel have continued to support each other in everything they do ever since they met in kindergarten. They went to the same high school and college, grew up doing plays together, and have seen each other through birthdays, breakups, jobs, ugly cries, belly laughs, and every moment in between.
“We’re like sisters,” Finkel said. Taylor interjected, “But it’s better, because you’re probably not that close to your sister.”
It felt natural for Finkel to be by Taylor’s side as she faced her most difficult challenge yet: a cancer diagnosis.
Taylor said that when doctors gave him the news, “Adrienne passed out.” “I went into survival mode.”
That was in July 2025. Since then, Ms. Taylor has undergone three months of chemotherapy and a double mastectomy with Ms. Finkel at her side. Early on, Taylor’s husband asked her if she wanted him to take her to her first appointment. Taylor told him “no.” She wanted it to be Finkel.
Taylor loves her husband and family, and they sometimes visit her during treatment. But more often, Taylor has Finkel and some of his other girlfriends spending a lot of time with her in the hospital, she said. She likes listening to her friends talk about their lives and the “normal” challenges of a 40-year-old’s life, like kids, work, and dating struggles. They work on crafts together, making stunning clothes and medicine bottles. They watch “Sex and the City.”
“Some people want to be with their husbands, but on the first day, Jen really kept saying, ‘I need Adrian,'” Finkel said. “I think there was something about this whole experience that made me feel feminine, not girly.”
Their followers think so too. Taylor and Finkel created an Instagram account to post about Taylor’s cancer journey. Taylor said most of their followers are women, some of whom have become friends.
“The support has been incredible,” Taylor said.
Cancer, Kismet, and the Peace of Childhood
Taylor and Finkel know that not every cancer patient has a close friend who lives close enough to go with them, let alone have time to go to appointments.
“The timing is crazy,” Finkel said. “It just so happened that I hadn’t found a job yet, so my purpose became like, I’m going to be there with Jen. No matter what happens, I’m just going to be there.”
“It was very sweet,” Taylor said. “In Adrian’s mind, he was like, ‘I can’t leave Jennifer alone in that horrible hospital.’ And I didn’t even think about it, but you did.”
They have a core group of girlfriends from their days as students at the University of Cincinnati College of Music, and they still send each other birthday presents every year. “They’re our family too,” Taylor said. Finkel contacted them and kept them updated on Taylor’s condition, and some of those friends came with Finkel to Taylor’s chemotherapy treatments.
“It’s girl time,” Finkel said. “There’s something soothing about when women come together.”
Taylor says he feels especially lucky to have such a close girlfriend at his age. “For many women, as they get older, friendships fade and fade,” she says. “And that’s really sad to me.”
Taylor and Finkel hope their social media posts can help give hope to other cancer patients. When Taylor was diagnosed, she said she looked online to connect with other breast cancer patients, and all of their videos were shocking.
“It was really depressing. It was really hard. I never felt better,” Taylor said. “It’s part of this whole journey, but it’s not all of it.”
Taylor and Finkel focus on finding humor and laughing in their videos while explaining the realities of cancer treatment. “The only time I knew what chemotherapy was was when I watched scary movies and saw people sitting in chairs. In a way, I felt deflated,” Taylor said. Over the past few months, women have been reaching out to them seeking support on their cancer journey.
“If I can handle this, you can have this too,” Taylor tells them. “I can do this.”
Madeline Mitchell’s role covering women and the care economy for USA TODAY is supported by a partnership with Pivotal and Journalism Funding Partners. Funders do not provide editorial input.
Contact Madeline at: memitchell@usatoday.com and @maddiemitch_ With X.
