How to delete 23andMe data
23andMe has filed for bankruptcy. Here’s how to delete your data:
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Don Anderson will always remember Sunday, September 19, 2021, when his life changed forever.
The podcast host, now 60, had a turbulent childhood. His parents divorced when he was five years old, and each remarried and had more children. Half-brothers and half-brothers surrounded him. However, when they became adults, he learned that his sister was not actually his father’s daughter and that their mother was pregnant when they met. Anderson used 23andMe to help her learn more about her biological father, only to be confused by her own results.
“I wasn’t Norwegian at all. I should have been Norwegian,” the Californian says. “Then I looked at my relatives and found two half-sisters I had never heard of.” It clicked. Nor was he his father’s child. He recalled feeling like his “feet weren’t touching the ground anymore. Not because I was floating, but because the ground wasn’t there anymore.”
Every year, tens of millions of people use kits like AncestryDNA and 23andMe to find the missing puzzle pieces in their lives. Many people receive them as holiday gifts. A Baylor College of Medicine study published in the American Journal of Human Genetics in 2022 found that of 23,000 respondents to a survey of DNA service users, 3% found out that their parent was not actually their biological parent, and 5% found that they were a sib or half-sibling. While some people have happy stories of finding long-lost family members, others are not so lucky.
Experts warn those who use these services to be careful because you may not always get what you want from your biological relatives.
“It made my entire childhood meaningful.”
After learning the truth, Anderson’s life changed forever. “When I learned that my father was not my father, it was the first time that my entire childhood made sense. The word ‘I’ made sense,” he says.
He was heartbroken when he discovered that his Norwegian ancestors, with whom he had developed a connection over time, no longer existed. But at the same time, “I always felt like I didn’t belong in the family I grew up in.” Since then, he has grown closer to his new half-sisters, who have welcomed him into his life.
Anderson understands people who are resistant to this type of testing. He bought DNA kits for his wife and children last year but hasn’t done them yet. What if the person on the other end of the text message or phone call rejects you? “There’s no reason you wouldn’t want to know,” he says. “I would do it all over again a million times. Some people are like that. Some want the truth, some don’t.” He currently discusses the subject of non-paternal events (NPE) on his podcast.
Amy Rose Haynes became a genetic genealogist after discovering the trick to diving down the DNA rabbit hole while trying to diagnose her daughter’s illness about 10 years ago. The disease turned out to be both Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS) and mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS). The 44-year-old Louisville, Kentucky, resident has since solved hundreds of genetic genealogy cases.
She tells people to be patient when contacting new found relatives.
“When you find out your parents aren’t what you believed them to be, your first instinct is to send a message every time there’s a DNA match like, ‘I’m adopted,’ or ‘I don’t know who the father is, can you help me?’ I always encourage people to first stop and take a deep breath,” says Rose Haynes. “A better approach is to reach out with a simple, neutral message like, ‘I don’t know much about my family tree. I’m working on learning more about my family history. Can you tell me the names of your grandparents and great-grandparents so I can see how we’re connected?'”
“Be prepared for the unexpected.”
Even if you know your parents are your parents, it’s a good idea to take some time before sending in your DNA. If you’re concerned about your health, there are other options, such as genetic testing for cancer.
“You absolutely have to be prepared for the unexpected,” says Rose Haynes. “No one believes that the people who raised them might not be their parents, but we have to be open to that surprise and be prepared for that surprise.”
